The "fun guy"...
Another year passes by...Another lot of experiences...
Another book of learning...
Another clump of sorrows...
Another array of joys...
All of it amalgamates...into my pool of memories.
The past year introduced me to a new emotion. Apparently, a couple of my acquaintances reacting to my way of life, in no way austere, felt that I was aging. That I was making the shift to the middle ages. The intention here is not to critique the comment, of course everybody is entitled to an opinion. The highlight is my continuing reaction to this comment. Initially it was a mixed feeling of insult and helplessness to retort. This was followed by a general scorn and condescension towards the person who commented. But over time, I watched myself and actually started feeling sympathetic of my state. But most recently, after continuous refinement, I feel comfortable in this new garb. Relaxed that maybe this mold fits me the best. At ease because once I'm seen in this mold, the stereotype sets in and anything I do true to my nature is perceived as out-of-the-ordinary. Its easier to be the "fun guy" when I'm viewed so. I'm not succumbing to age, neither am I living a lie.
I have also realized that its really within me to survive by myself. I'm not a loner by fate, but by choice. I'm comfortable in this role as well. Its my favorite part to play. It actually accentuates and amplifies the little joys in life, because they come in so rarely and feebly...be it in the form of companionship or as happiness. Past experiences remain gray in my life. I'm unable to accept them as mistakes, neither am I able to come clean. It comes as an indispensable trait to a really strong conscience I suppose.
I continue to survive, to live...observing and being observed. The only one truth that stands, I love my life!
Happy Birthday to me!
posted by Unknown @ 3:40 AM
